My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
