garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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