your thong is hanging out like whoa
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
