What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
