Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
