dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
