Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
