ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
