I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
