2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
operation have a gay friend backfired
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
