The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
