Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
