I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
