Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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