I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
