My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just threw up on my dentist
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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