I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just pee around me
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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