He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
