just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
