Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
