the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
