maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish i was in the wii world.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
