I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
