Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
