Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
