Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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