no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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