Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
