Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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