I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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