My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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