but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
