ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
