My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
