I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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