I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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