Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
