is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
