What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I can't turn off my feet"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
