OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
