i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
no you cant smoke seaweed
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
