I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
