just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
