I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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