Having a random hookup so left but love u
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize