i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
