One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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