My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
