You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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