Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
